This is for all the moms out there who:
–have ever gotten out of the shower only having had time to shave one leg
–have cleaned makeup off of their toddler son’s face (bonus points if it’s water proof makeup)
–have ever seen your Willow Creek figurine lose it’s head, hand, or wing (who knew those things weren’t really wood?)
–have been on the phone with the insurance company, school, or your doctor when a kid starts screaming (little tip: if this happens while you’re on the phone with your doc requesting refills of your anxiety or sleep meds, they usually don’t hesitate at all to make sure that ‘script is ready ASAP)
–have ever beaten yourself up over where you last left that pair of scissors or permanent marker
–have left a grocery cart WITH GROCERIES IN IT in the middle of the store due to a screaming newborn (bonus points if you’re in the frozen food aisle)
–have ever gotten the evil eye from the public librarian
–have ever snuck french fries out of your kid’s Happy Meal before giving it to him or her
–have ever called Poison Control because your kid ate half a jar of gummy vitamins (note: you’re okay as long as though don’t contain iron)
–have discovered the hard way that it’s time to lower the crib
–have cried to your pediatrician
–have taken the long way home so the baby can sleep
–chose more sleep over a shower…and regretted it. Or didn’t.
–kept the baby monitor in your room for way longer than you needed to
–have changed a baby diaper one-handed
–forgotten to sign a field trip permission slip in time
–hovered at the door long enough for it to be considered embarrassing on your kiddo’s first day of preschool, kindergarten, or church nursery
–know all the varieties of Goldfish crackers that are available
–have ridiculously opinionated ideas about children’s tv show characters
–know which cartoon characters and scenes appear on any and all name brand and local store generic diapers and pull-ups
…to all you moms who can relate to anything listed above, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I know. It doesn’t make you any less exhausted. But at least you know you can have a bleary-eyed conversation about toddler-created Sharpie tattoos with other Mommies who’ve been there.